It is my understanding you have lost a Writer, and that your staff is shorthanded
So I would like to submit for the position, almost like that one fan did, ‘ahem’
I’m not one to steal your limelight, flashlight, fleshlight, or terabyte
I am, however, really good at saying “Yes!” when the time is right
I don’t want you to think I’m gay, I won’t try to lead your thoughts astray
I need a job, the bills don’t stop, where there’s a will, there’s a “way”
you got an iPad, not a Kindle, ahh, I see, a book and its cover…
like a learned politician, when you read, you like your pages bent over.
But I digress from the purpose of this letter
it is to help the people, and your wallet get… “better”
We will chant, we will cheer, while we carry you on our shoulders
I will even be excited to be named one of your holders… (I hope that’s good)
I know this is kinda public, but I wanted you to see
that I know when it’s about you, it really is about me
I wouldn’t take a shred of your American Glory
come what may, it is all your story
but if push comes to shove, and I can’t work with you
could you put in a good Word, down the hall, the short Jew?