Better late than never
Here for your pleasure
A teeny endeavor
For the best fake news host ever

Dear Jon,

Is this what you call goodbye?
I mean, it seems like only last century you said hi
and I never would have envisioned
how much you helped with my Indecision
and like the holiday tree mission
you’ve become a bit of a family tradition
Come on man
none of this was planned
think of the kids
your unborn fans
I never had a problem with your infidelity
even that one affair with, what’s his name, Stevie?
It really was those daily doses
you’d show us of those calling farts roses
and I always looked forward
to your indecent exposures
every evening when we got cozy
I’m not mad
just a little sad
I hope you’re happy
I’ll pretend to be glad
but if this must be the end I will dry my eyes
I’ll keep my chin up, and the pain inside
if for everything there is a season
and even this has a reason
and all of the hope that you’re teasin’
to avoid the pain of you leavin’
don’t you give a damn?
I’m sorry, I hope you understand
It’s just that, well
We fucking love you man!